Sunday, May 16, 2010

i lack common sense

yahoo is silly. case in point:

here are MY 8 tips for surviving the following scenarios:

… a car is heading straight toward you in your lane?
beep incessantly at that mofucka and get the hell out of their way. and, if you manage to get out of your screaming coma soon enough, call the cops on their ass.

...a car is tailgating you and honking wildly?
refuse to go over 30mph and show them the ring on your middle finger.

… a car is swerving ahead of you and the driver is clearly impaired?
fly by that bitch going 85 and leave em in the dust... i don't want that fucker anywhere near my cute little car.

… a deer darts in front of your car?
scream bloody murder and swerve like a maniac. i don't want my car totaled, no thanks.

… you come to a four-way stop?
glare at the drivers that decide to go first followed by a near-collision once you've decided it's your turn.

… you’re blinded by the sun?
bliiiiiinded by the light! revved up like a DOUCHE [like the car that's on your ass] um, really? simple solution - SUNGLASSES.

... you get a yellow light as you approach an intersection?
i didn't know there was anything you could do besides speed through it..?

… you’re about to be rear-ended?
scream like the bitch you are and speed away from that asshole.


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