pitty me

do you ever think there comes a time when one might be too single? i've officially hit that roadblock. i've been single for a long time. and by long time, i mean the last time i was in a "relationship," kelly clarkson was kicking ass in american idol. i constantly find myself doing everything in my underwear, because why should i bother getting dressed when no one else is around? i read trashy romance novels and eat ice cream from the carton. i have no one to answer to. i can do whatever my pretty little heart desires. i'm a free woman. i should be happy, right?

there is definitely a part of me is ready for and in dire need of a relationship. i want to be able to share myself and give myself completely to another person. i want to be able to snuggle on the couch. lay on a boy's lap while he plays with my hair and plants kisses on my shoulders. engage in acts that would make the devil (and certainly my parents) blush. sometimes i just like the idea of someone being there for me whenever i need it. someone being there to protect me when i need it. someone to show me how much they love me and treat me like the princess i am. i watch movies where the girl acts like the damsel in distress and falls in love with the man who helps her out of her rut. i watch movies where couples curl up together and watch movies after coming in from ice skating in the fucking snow. i watch movies where couples lay there panting roughly after having mind blowing sex because their passion for each other is so intense.

then again, why do i want someone that will just hold me down? i am so not into the idea of needing approval for anything. i don't want to worry about whether i'm flirting with too many guys because the one i love is patiently and angelically (right...) waiting for me at home. i'm a party girl. i enjoy meeting new people, socializing, dancing with whomever i please. i'm used to eyefucking the cute guys in class. i thoroughly enjoy taking care of myself. am i really ready to give up the single life?